I think the most striking thing about this to me is your decision to get a POV on both sides of the chase. It's somehow even more immersive that way. Very good!
I agree, this was really good Hannah. I love that you managed to put a good thrill in it, my eyes refuse to budge as I scrolled in eagerness. You also managed to write a really good picture to follow as your words reached my thoughts. Amazing!
Great title, great concept, great story. You captured the mounting dread and I felt the visceral cold. I really liked how you switched between past and present. I didn't even notice the device at first (because I was just in it), and it helped the wolf's senses feel really immediate. Well done!
Thanks Eric. I felt it was a huge risk to mix tense and flip POV at the same time but I'm so relieved that it created the effect I hoped it would. Of course, this has absolutely 0 bearing on how the judges will see it but If you can't mess up in a writing contest that gives direct feedback after each challenge, when can you? 😂
Flipping POV is always a great trick and you clearly already know how to do it exceptionally well. Tenses too. This little vignette really is exceptional writing. More please.
Angela Carter! Yes! I only realised after I'd read it (because you had me a little spellbound I have to say). This is from someone for whom 'Company of Wolves' is in my top 5 all-time movies. Studying fairytales (in German) at uni really got me going on this kind of thing, and Rotkappchen is a kind of template for fairytales (that was my final essay for that unit - I got an A).
I would say the fairytale is the oldest story ever told, going back at least several hundred thousand years - being 'warnings' for children 'not to stray from the path into the forest' because there is danger there. As soon as humans could speak they would have told that story - and as it evolved the danger in the forest would've grown and become more exaggerated and fantastic to emphasise the point.
One thing I love - which you did brilliantly in this little story, was flip the POV so you tell it from the wolf's POV (as opposed to the child/little redcap/the huntsman). Company of Wolves kind of does this too (with that beautiful line 'for she was just a girl, after all, who had strayed from the path into the forest, and remembered what she'd found there').
When you think about it, the creatures and spirits of the forest would tell the same stories about humans! Just as extraterrestrials probably would too, for that matter...
Oh yes, absolutely. They were cautionary tales in the same way that the Greek myths warned people not to go into the wilderness. I've never seen the film Company Of Wolves. I loved the story though and I'm sure I'd enjoy the film adaptation. I usually do. I bet studying fairytales in Germany was brilliant. They're so dark!
You will definitely love the adaptation (by Neil Jordan) - it's magical and beautiful, the music is haunting, the cinematography is just pure magical realism and it moves me to tears every time I watch it. You should definitely make time to see it.
True about some of the Greek myths (and fables of course). I'm with you on that one!
When we studied Maerchen (fairytales) interestingly we focused on two ways of looking at them, namely feminist theory (which is where the Angela Carter angle comes in of course) and second was 'interpretation of dreams'. Now I really don't like Freud at all, but Jung with his archetypes makes a lot of sense here. Over the course of social evolution these archetypes are not just 'narrative imagery' but the story templates themselves. Because human beings are social creatures they have empathy, so they identify with the characters and they also instantly recognise the setting/narrative.
The other oldest story in the book is told from the hunter's point of view and is 'the one that got away' - aside from serving as 'hunting instructions' (strategy and understanding the prey's behaviour and so on) but it also morphs into comedy. Where you have the inept hunter and the prey with an exaggerated size. So if you imagine a group of hunter-gatherers in the ice age you'll get what I'm getting at here. Sitting around a campfire telling 'fairytales' (scary stories) and funny stories ('the one that got away'). This also works in caves with paintings coming alive from a combination of flickering torchlight and, ahem, mushrooms (!) - who said cinema was a recent invention!
One thing you've done with your story is actually combine these two archetypes - that's really clever! Although you did it side-by-side (POV switching) you can do it in linear form too - the classic horror story template does this - Act 1 you get the victim straying from the path and getting deaded, then you get the hunters going after the monster - 'Jaws' or 'Alien' being the classic examples.
So I think when it comes to 'narrative theory' and 'storytelling' - the more aware we are as writers of these archetypes and templates, the more we can instantly grab the reader (because these stories really are embedded into the human psyche - as per Jung, so they instantly recognise it) and resonate with them.
And that's precisely what you've done with this story - it's really exceptional.
Plus you've just got my brain inspired to do a regular Fairytale Sunday thing on my Substack (perhaps you might be interested in that, both as a reader and a writer...?).
I didn't enjoy Freud much too but it was useful for the analysis of texts, I agree. I'd love to read a fairy tale exploration series. I look forward to that. Thanks, Evelyn.
True about text analysis, yes. I think I might do a sort of non-fiction ramble about fairytales as a kind of intro, as well as versions of them. It's interesting to see how they evolve and reflect the culture of the time - which is why the German ones are so dark and forest-like (think fifteenth century or so). Like the original Grimm version of Red Riding Hood uses the word 'Dirne' rather than 'girl' - Dirne meaning tart or prostitute! ('Once upon a time there was a sweet little prostitute... who word a little red cap' - which has a mushroom-y thing to it as well, which ironically I never noticed before now!). So it's a kind of morality tale as well - which is where the feminism aspect comes in - suggesting these versions are in part reinforcing the patriarchal system/female role models, kind of thing. I think there's something in that.
Of course they'd never allow a word like 'Dirne' nowadays!
Yep, I shall definitely have to write something about this. Thank you for getting my brain working this fine morning!
Oh, the wild land of fairytale! I love to read and write them (several will be coming along on my stack, in fact). This was shivery and ghostly, with that steely core good fairytales have- the hard finality of the lesson that is always so visceral and so satisfying. I want more!
Thank you Liz! He was warned, the silly sausage. I've subscribed because I want to see these dark fairytales. It seems that this story has brought me my people.
Welcome, welcome to The Palace! I hope we can chat about fairytales as we go. I’m rather talky about them, to the chagrin of many trapped listeners, lol. I hope you’ll write many more for me to rave over!
Who knows, we could end up with a dedicated theme day soon! Do a fairytale Friday last day of the month or something. I think there are a lot of us out there. The little mermaid haunts me. I read it to my kids but they completely overlook the darkness of it.
What a marvelous idea! Fairytale Friday! I think you're right…there are a lot of us out there, wandering in those woods. The Little Mermaid is a crushing story, as are many of them. Oh, the darkness! Disney has poisoned the well with sugar, but the darkness is true and instructive.
Just finished reading and taking notes! Your story has been officially received, and you'll get some detailed comments when I send you the scoring. This was INTENSE from start to finish--I loved the drama of this story. I know your future challenge entries are going to impress! Great work!
I think the most striking thing about this to me is your decision to get a POV on both sides of the chase. It's somehow even more immersive that way. Very good!
I agree, this was really good Hannah. I love that you managed to put a good thrill in it, my eyes refuse to budge as I scrolled in eagerness. You also managed to write a really good picture to follow as your words reached my thoughts. Amazing!
Great title, great concept, great story. You captured the mounting dread and I felt the visceral cold. I really liked how you switched between past and present. I didn't even notice the device at first (because I was just in it), and it helped the wolf's senses feel really immediate. Well done!
Thanks Eric. I felt it was a huge risk to mix tense and flip POV at the same time but I'm so relieved that it created the effect I hoped it would. Of course, this has absolutely 0 bearing on how the judges will see it but If you can't mess up in a writing contest that gives direct feedback after each challenge, when can you? 😂
Flipping POV is always a great trick and you clearly already know how to do it exceptionally well. Tenses too. This little vignette really is exceptional writing. More please.
Thank you so much, Evelyn. It felt like a lot to take on for a small piece but I'm glad I did it.
---"past and present"--wait a second
Visceral and disturbing!! :)
Thank you. As an Angela Carter fan, this is a huge compliment.
Angela Carter! Yes! I only realised after I'd read it (because you had me a little spellbound I have to say). This is from someone for whom 'Company of Wolves' is in my top 5 all-time movies. Studying fairytales (in German) at uni really got me going on this kind of thing, and Rotkappchen is a kind of template for fairytales (that was my final essay for that unit - I got an A).
I would say the fairytale is the oldest story ever told, going back at least several hundred thousand years - being 'warnings' for children 'not to stray from the path into the forest' because there is danger there. As soon as humans could speak they would have told that story - and as it evolved the danger in the forest would've grown and become more exaggerated and fantastic to emphasise the point.
One thing I love - which you did brilliantly in this little story, was flip the POV so you tell it from the wolf's POV (as opposed to the child/little redcap/the huntsman). Company of Wolves kind of does this too (with that beautiful line 'for she was just a girl, after all, who had strayed from the path into the forest, and remembered what she'd found there').
When you think about it, the creatures and spirits of the forest would tell the same stories about humans! Just as extraterrestrials probably would too, for that matter...
Oh yes, absolutely. They were cautionary tales in the same way that the Greek myths warned people not to go into the wilderness. I've never seen the film Company Of Wolves. I loved the story though and I'm sure I'd enjoy the film adaptation. I usually do. I bet studying fairytales in Germany was brilliant. They're so dark!
You will definitely love the adaptation (by Neil Jordan) - it's magical and beautiful, the music is haunting, the cinematography is just pure magical realism and it moves me to tears every time I watch it. You should definitely make time to see it.
True about some of the Greek myths (and fables of course). I'm with you on that one!
When we studied Maerchen (fairytales) interestingly we focused on two ways of looking at them, namely feminist theory (which is where the Angela Carter angle comes in of course) and second was 'interpretation of dreams'. Now I really don't like Freud at all, but Jung with his archetypes makes a lot of sense here. Over the course of social evolution these archetypes are not just 'narrative imagery' but the story templates themselves. Because human beings are social creatures they have empathy, so they identify with the characters and they also instantly recognise the setting/narrative.
The other oldest story in the book is told from the hunter's point of view and is 'the one that got away' - aside from serving as 'hunting instructions' (strategy and understanding the prey's behaviour and so on) but it also morphs into comedy. Where you have the inept hunter and the prey with an exaggerated size. So if you imagine a group of hunter-gatherers in the ice age you'll get what I'm getting at here. Sitting around a campfire telling 'fairytales' (scary stories) and funny stories ('the one that got away'). This also works in caves with paintings coming alive from a combination of flickering torchlight and, ahem, mushrooms (!) - who said cinema was a recent invention!
One thing you've done with your story is actually combine these two archetypes - that's really clever! Although you did it side-by-side (POV switching) you can do it in linear form too - the classic horror story template does this - Act 1 you get the victim straying from the path and getting deaded, then you get the hunters going after the monster - 'Jaws' or 'Alien' being the classic examples.
So I think when it comes to 'narrative theory' and 'storytelling' - the more aware we are as writers of these archetypes and templates, the more we can instantly grab the reader (because these stories really are embedded into the human psyche - as per Jung, so they instantly recognise it) and resonate with them.
And that's precisely what you've done with this story - it's really exceptional.
Plus you've just got my brain inspired to do a regular Fairytale Sunday thing on my Substack (perhaps you might be interested in that, both as a reader and a writer...?).
I didn't enjoy Freud much too but it was useful for the analysis of texts, I agree. I'd love to read a fairy tale exploration series. I look forward to that. Thanks, Evelyn.
True about text analysis, yes. I think I might do a sort of non-fiction ramble about fairytales as a kind of intro, as well as versions of them. It's interesting to see how they evolve and reflect the culture of the time - which is why the German ones are so dark and forest-like (think fifteenth century or so). Like the original Grimm version of Red Riding Hood uses the word 'Dirne' rather than 'girl' - Dirne meaning tart or prostitute! ('Once upon a time there was a sweet little prostitute... who word a little red cap' - which has a mushroom-y thing to it as well, which ironically I never noticed before now!). So it's a kind of morality tale as well - which is where the feminism aspect comes in - suggesting these versions are in part reinforcing the patriarchal system/female role models, kind of thing. I think there's something in that.
Of course they'd never allow a word like 'Dirne' nowadays!
Yep, I shall definitely have to write something about this. Thank you for getting my brain working this fine morning!
So good, and so intense!! One of my favorite devices you used was how each section shortened as the climax approached, which ratcheted up the tension.
Thank you so much, Bridget! I wanted to unravel the doom and emphasise the wolf losing control as time ticked by. Less human, more wolf!
Oh, the wild land of fairytale! I love to read and write them (several will be coming along on my stack, in fact). This was shivery and ghostly, with that steely core good fairytales have- the hard finality of the lesson that is always so visceral and so satisfying. I want more!
Thank you Liz! He was warned, the silly sausage. I've subscribed because I want to see these dark fairytales. It seems that this story has brought me my people.
Welcome, welcome to The Palace! I hope we can chat about fairytales as we go. I’m rather talky about them, to the chagrin of many trapped listeners, lol. I hope you’ll write many more for me to rave over!
Who knows, we could end up with a dedicated theme day soon! Do a fairytale Friday last day of the month or something. I think there are a lot of us out there. The little mermaid haunts me. I read it to my kids but they completely overlook the darkness of it.
What a marvelous idea! Fairytale Friday! I think you're right…there are a lot of us out there, wandering in those woods. The Little Mermaid is a crushing story, as are many of them. Oh, the darkness! Disney has poisoned the well with sugar, but the darkness is true and instructive.
Just finished reading and taking notes! Your story has been officially received, and you'll get some detailed comments when I send you the scoring. This was INTENSE from start to finish--I loved the drama of this story. I know your future challenge entries are going to impress! Great work!
This is brilliant! Love the changing POV, and the twist in that last line is the cherry on the cake!