I like the way you introduce and describe the characters. Each new character arouses interest and is mysterious in their way as only a little is revealed.
You also don't get bogged down in unnecessary details. The descriptions of the surroundings, situations and thoughts are very clear. The suspense continues at a good pace. It never gets tedious or drawn out.
I have no criticism per se. The only scene I needed clarification on was Geraint's somewhat too-rapid recovery and attempt to kiss Thea. But her confusion and reaction to it saved the day for me.
I have enjoyed the read and am looking forward to reading more!
This is really good! I liked it enough to subscribe, after all! Although the Tempest is my favourite Shakespeare it's been a while so I'm going to have to excavate my old (probably dusty) copy of Shakespeare and remind myself of everything.
The pacing is really good and the introductions to the characters in particular give you just a little about them to prompt you into asking questions about them, but not too much - this is something of an art in introducing characters in a long story I think - the important thing for any story is to make sure the reader is asking lots of questions, which then get answered as the story progresses. 'Knowledge gaps' is the term I guess.
So the amount of 'exposition' has to be really measured, is what I'm saying, and I think you've got the balance just right so far.
On that note, the only criticism - well, it's not a criticism so much as a suggestion - is that you could maybe think about removing the very first two paragraphs from chapter one - this creates a lot of mystery - i.e. 'knowledge gaps' which should immediately hook the reader's curiosity about the setting itself. Obviously, you have to fill in the info from those two paragraphs at some point shortly after (I'd say within the first ten chapters maybe). This would also create a kind of otherworldly feel right from the start. It also makes you ask a few more questions about the boatswain of course. Try reading it back starting at paragraph 3 and tell me whether I'm barking up the wrong tree or not!
But obviously, I am definitely going to keep reading. Thank you!
I like the shifting perspectives, you are good at that Hanna. I haven't read Shakespeare Tempest yet. But I like your variety in characters. Also, I like the subtle mystery and I have a suspicion that Althea is something more.
Also by some insane circumstance, Althea is a name I also had for my novel where I chronicle the events of a fantasy world. It is indeed a beautiful name.
Wonderful!
I like the way you introduce and describe the characters. Each new character arouses interest and is mysterious in their way as only a little is revealed.
You also don't get bogged down in unnecessary details. The descriptions of the surroundings, situations and thoughts are very clear. The suspense continues at a good pace. It never gets tedious or drawn out.
I have no criticism per se. The only scene I needed clarification on was Geraint's somewhat too-rapid recovery and attempt to kiss Thea. But her confusion and reaction to it saved the day for me.
I have enjoyed the read and am looking forward to reading more!
This is really good! I liked it enough to subscribe, after all! Although the Tempest is my favourite Shakespeare it's been a while so I'm going to have to excavate my old (probably dusty) copy of Shakespeare and remind myself of everything.
The pacing is really good and the introductions to the characters in particular give you just a little about them to prompt you into asking questions about them, but not too much - this is something of an art in introducing characters in a long story I think - the important thing for any story is to make sure the reader is asking lots of questions, which then get answered as the story progresses. 'Knowledge gaps' is the term I guess.
So the amount of 'exposition' has to be really measured, is what I'm saying, and I think you've got the balance just right so far.
On that note, the only criticism - well, it's not a criticism so much as a suggestion - is that you could maybe think about removing the very first two paragraphs from chapter one - this creates a lot of mystery - i.e. 'knowledge gaps' which should immediately hook the reader's curiosity about the setting itself. Obviously, you have to fill in the info from those two paragraphs at some point shortly after (I'd say within the first ten chapters maybe). This would also create a kind of otherworldly feel right from the start. It also makes you ask a few more questions about the boatswain of course. Try reading it back starting at paragraph 3 and tell me whether I'm barking up the wrong tree or not!
But obviously, I am definitely going to keep reading. Thank you!
This is very engaging, I don’t remember the tempest, but I think i either read it or saw a production. Anyhow i don’t know what will happen
I like the shifting perspectives, you are good at that Hanna. I haven't read Shakespeare Tempest yet. But I like your variety in characters. Also, I like the subtle mystery and I have a suspicion that Althea is something more.
Also by some insane circumstance, Althea is a name I also had for my novel where I chronicle the events of a fantasy world. It is indeed a beautiful name.
Also the governor's son is a miserable jerk.
I am loving this story.
Will check out more when I get the time.