Buckling under my own weight

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Aug 22, 2025

If you’ve come across my work, you’ll see that I am prolific. I’m human, too.

I’m an author. That’s my job. That’s how I earn money, and like any job, sometimes you need a bit of time off, especially after a hectic period. I am lucky to have been doing this for a year and a half.

I did a reflection to mark 18 months since I started on Substack, and to summarise:

500 books sold in a year is not how you become a bestseller, but I am nonetheless very pleased with that number. Being totally honest, it’s 498 but I like to round off.
Liverpool Central Library bought a copy of The Spider in January and I still can’t believe it.
I’ve published 3 novels (one sci fi and two horror) in less than 12 months, and according to the reviews, they’re not crap!
I’ve published 255 newsletters since February 2024. At least 230 of those newsletters are 100% fiction pieces (as in, no waffling added on or news updates). I serialised the entire 31 chapters of Oceanus on here, another 31 for The Spider and in a few weeks we’ll have seen all 38 chapters of The Ring pass through here, too.
Somehow, 1200 of you showed up to subscribe. Thank you so much.
All of this has been hard work.
I still want to do it even though it’s hard.
I am buckling under my own weight.

A bit more about the 500 books

It might seem like nothing to the layman, but that’s something I achieved by myself. No publishing house helped me do that. I had myself and you, my subscribers (and also social media followers who may or may not be here.) I had this wild idea that I would start writing a novel on Substack and if readers came along and started to read it, then it might be worth publishing. I took part in Substack writing contests, and wrote things for prompts provided by other publications. I had fun. This should always be fun.

I am still very much a nobody in the grand scheme of things, but I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. I didn’t pay thousands of pounds in amazon ads, Facebook ads or Bookbub promotions. Not only are they well beyond my means but Simon McCleave (bestselling author of The Snowdonia Killings) admitted that the £750 he spent in 2020 would have to be ten times that amount for your book to get seen today. So with that in mind, I’m not too bothered about becoming a bestseller overnight. I have organic growth, and although I wish life wasn’t so bloody expensive that I could just enjoy earning £4k a year, there’s no rush, and I enjoy what I do. My husband believes in me, my kids believe in me, and I believe in myself. I’m just tired.

Publishing books by yourself is for the business-orientated, and if you’re reading this and hoping to publish your own books: the marketing never stops. The situation I’ve found myself in is very much being overworked with the marketing side of being an author, to the point where it’s eating up time I want to spend writing more books.

I am therefore taking some time off. There is so much that I want to write. So, so much. My head is buzzing with ideas and I haven’t stopped and taken a good look at any of them yet. I’ve been so caught up in the marketing mill (because if you stop talking about your books, people do not just randomly discover them, trust me) and the weekly fiction that I’m overwhelmed.

Oceanus

The Spider

What’s so overwhelming, Hanna?

A lot of the short stories I’ve published here are on the loose like cats I found on the street and tried to force to come and live with me. I need to round them up. I need to wave my magic wand and sort those fairy tales out, too. I need to get that third Muldoon book written.

I can’t do any of this without a little break. School starts again in September and those first couple of weeks are going to be crazy, as the parents and teachers reading this will undoubtedly know. I’ll probably get a cold or 3 and the last thing I’ll want to be worrying about is oh no, I don’t have a short story to go out today. My youngest daughter is also two now, and she is everywhere at the moment. We need to find a rhythm where I can still work without feeling like I’m neglecting her every demand.

For the last year and a half, getting a short story written for my Friday newsletter was an absolute joy. Sometimes it was a bit stressful, but it added a skip to my step and gave me purpose every week. The same goes for the novels. I have loved sharing novels week by week (and sometimes, part of the thrill is discovering where it goes just as you do) and turning them into something tangible, and final.

I need to breathe.

I have noticed that I’ve started focusing too much on my books: checking the reviews daily to see if any more have been added, checking the sales page every day to see if any more books have been purchased. I recognise this behaviour from running my other business, and it led to burnout. Sure, that burnout led to me becoming an author but this work is precious to me, and I don’t want to stifle it.

You can’t sit and impatiently watch grass grow. It’s growing, and it will get there when it’s ready.

I’m not appreciating that I’m experiencing organic success, and to really enjoy that, I need to step back. You can’t give yourself a pat on the back with the hand that’s holding you by the throat.

Also—I’ve probably been spending far too much time on Substack because now I’m having nightmares about the plagiarists and the ‘authors who don’t use AI are going to fall behind’ crew joining forces to destroy this one livelihood that made me think ‘wow, I really love this.’ Time with my kids, my dog and some gardening will sort this out, I’m sure.

Friday fiction will be back on the 19th September.

So, in the meantime, here’s what will be happening:

The Ring is still rolling! That weekly instalment will still be happening every Sunday. If you’ve missed out on any of the Muldoon Mysteries, they are on Kindle Unlimited as well as ebook and paperback. I’d love it if you read it and came back for the book club, which will be kicking off again at the end of September. There are about 6 weeks until the serial ends, so keep your eyes peeled.
Oceanus will be having its book birthday on the 6th September. This will be observed, because this was the book that made me a published author.
No Friday fiction from me until late-September, when I will have hopefully had a good rest and let my brain refresh.

There is plenty of free fiction sitting here waiting to be read. I’ve linked some at the bottom.

I’ve entered The Ring into the Kindle Storyteller Competition.

I’m delighted to be able to tell you that I entered the second Muldoon mystery into this year’s competition. The prize is £20,000. I would love to win that, as it’s the closest I’ll get to a full time wage at the moment. You can help me win by reading the book and leaving a review for the book. As per the entry requirements, this book is on kindle unlimited during the competition period, so if you have a membership, it’s free to read.

If you’re fully immersed in the serial, you can still help by reviewing and recommending it when it’s finished at the end of September.

New here? Here’s a selection of the other short fiction I write in my weekly newsletter:

The Shabti - During the Blitz of 1940, museums across the country are moving artefacts into country homes and mansions for safe keeping. The Liverpool World Museum has despatched some priceless Egyptian artefacts to Helsby Hall in Cheshire. The generous hosts, the Ecklands, get more than they bargained for...

The Court Of The Phoenix King - I sometimes write my own fairy tales, and this is one of the ones that made me think I can never do better than that.

When You’ve Been Married As Long As We Have - A 500 word dark piece of flash fiction.

Jenny Greenteeth - Flash horror. English folklore.

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Thanks for reading. If you like my fiction, I currently have three novels out in the world. You can see them here.