Oceanus: Chapter 12
“Awake, dear heart, awake. Thou hast slept well. Awake.”- William Shakespeare, The Tempest.
Chapter 1-5| Chapter 6 |Chapter 7| Chapter 8| Chapter 9|Chapter 10| Chapter 11
In a small woodcutter’s hut on the southern edge of the lake, Jet lived alone. It was a single room lodging with a humble kitchenette, some books stacked on a single shelf and a bed with a small table beside it. On the far side of the room was a small fireplace and one wooden chair. The only clue as to the identity of the person who lived there was the small table by the bed where there stood a framed photograph of Shona Lennox.
He had come to live there as a boy, after the death of his mother. Barely fourteen, he isolated himself from Derrien as quickly as he could.
At that moment, Jet was lying on his bed listening to the erratic pitter patter of rain when there was a knock at the door. He recognised it instantly but did not move despite the overwhelming compulsion to dart out of bed and open it. He did not feel like talking right now, not even to a friend.
The knocking persisted. “Jet, I know you’re in there.” Jet found himself alarmed to hear that she sounded upset. The sound of her voice, much to his annoyance at being disturbed, dissipated his anger. He went to the door and unbolted it without question.
Thea stood there in the rain, her hair drenched and pin straight. The droplets rolling down her forehead and cheeks disguised her tears well. He suspected tears but couldn’t see them. He moved aside and let her in.
She removed her wet shawl from her shoulders and wiped her eyes. “I have nowhere else to go, Jet.”
“What? You live in the –”
“No,” she shook her head vehemently, “I don’t live there any more.”
Jet closed the door and returned to the bed where he sat down. Thea did not sit down with him. She paced the small room, stopping to admire the small collection of books. Jet had a copy of Robinson Crusoe that she had read multiple times as well as a vintage Shakespeare Anthology and several collections of poetry. For a boy who hardly spoke, he was as well read as could be on their little island. She looked tired. More tired than he had ever seen her. Her smiling disposition was nowhere to be seen. He studied her as she fidgeted with the books. “I don’t know what’s happened to me but I’m not myself,” she finally said as she flicked through a copy of Sylvia Plath’s collected poems. “Something has changed. I feel different.”
“The new boy?” Jet asked, folding his arms. He had spied Geraint through a chink in the garden wall the previous morning and had surprised himself with his own jealousy.
“No. Nothing to do with Geraint. It’s me.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t understand.”
“Does your father know?”
“No. I don’t want to tell him either.”
Jet didn’t know what to say. Most of his frustrations with Thea stemmed from her unwavering loyalty to her father. At first, he saw it as no different to any child’s bond with a parent but as they grew older, he kept his distance from her. The sudden change in behaviour was disconcerting. He decided to tread lightly.
“I was at the beach with Geraint,” she began, “and he asked me about leaving the planet. I said I couldn’t possibly do that. It just wasn’t an option.” She sat down in the chair and twiddled her fingers. “I realised then that I’d never thought about it before,” she said, staring at the fire. “I’ve never thought beyond existing. I suppose I tend to my garden but my life has been about serving my father.” She twisted her long hair in her hands and wrung it. “I’ve never thought about my own life. I’ve just existed. Isn’t that funny?”
Jet could find nothing to say. He watched with his mouth agape.
“Did Geraint ask you to go with him?”
“Yes. I said I couldn’t do it and I didn’t know why.”
“Well, we don’t have any transport,” he remarked. “Is that what you mean?”
“No. I mean I had never thought beyond my life here.”
Her words saddened him. For as long as he could remember, he dreamed of escaping Oceanus. His mother had promised him that they’d return home soon but ‘soon’ had become five years, ten years and eventually, never. Still, he had not given up hope.
“I have never thought about leaving here. When he asked me, I said it wasn’t possible but I don’t know why. I just know that it isn’t.”
“Don’t talk like that. There’s a–”
“No. For you there may be. It’s not for me. I know it in my heart.”
Thea put some more firewood into the fire. She sat in the nearby chair, half looking at him. “When I had that conversation today, it made me feel so uncomfortable. I wanted to run. I didn’t understand why.”
“Perhaps you do want to leave.”
“I think it’s more than that,” she said. “Something keeps me here.”
“Your father?”
“That’s the funny thing, Jet. It’s not him. I’m free of him now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I felt absolutely no compulsion to return home or to tell him any of this,” she said, looking at Jet. “I wanted to tell you and that’s what I did.”
“He didn’t tell you to?”
“No. I wanted to come here.” she smiled for the first time that evening. “I wanted to come here.” Her large blue eyes met his. “Do you know what any of this means?” she asked him. He looked away.
“Only you know your own mind, Thea.”
“I don’t, though,” for the first time, she said something to him that sounded angry. “I’ve never thought before.” she said, “I didn’t think about anything, really. I just did everything I was asked. Today, I really thought about my life and I came to the horrifying realisation that my father is a monster. He has done terrible things and I stand by and do nothing because I could only do nothing. I had no say because I gave no thought.”
“Do nothing about what?”
“Everything, Jet. The way he treats me. The things he has done to people. The way he treats… you.” Her voice broke, “I can’t bear it.”
Jet looked at the photograph on his bedside table. His mother was looking back at him with a smile. The anger in his heart rose up again. He wanted to kill Derrien Victor Smith.
Thea turned to look at him. “We’re all going to die here.” Her eyes filled up with tears again. She bit her bottom lip and stood up. Jet rose from the bed and hugged her tightly, “we’ll all die here because he wills it so.”
“We don’t have to die here,” he said softly. She sobbed into his shoulder. As much as it frightened him to see her cry, his instincts overwhelmed him. “There’s always a way, Thea. We can get out of here.”
She looked up at him and smiled faintly. “You think so?”
“Yes. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” His arms were still around her.
“Jet,” she began. “Can I kiss you?”
He was taken aback at her request. “What?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Is this some kind of joke?”
“No. I need to know something and I won’t know unless I kiss you.”
“Ok.”
She kissed him. Against his better judgement, he passionately reciprocated until she changed her mind and pulled away. She unpicked his fingers from her body like the love-starved barnacles she’d found on a rowboat.
“It’s no good,” she protested.
“What’s no good?” he leaned in again. She dodged his attempt, holding her hands up to block him.
“It doesn’t work.”
It felt like a punch in the gut. His breath had abandoned him. “What do you mean?”
“I feel nothing when I kiss you,” she said, looking him in the eye. “I just…” she thought for a moment as he stared at her, incredulously, waiting for her to ease the pain with sorry, I didn’t mean it. “I just had to know, Jet,” she continued, sitting down on the bed. “Geraint kissed me in the garden and I didn’t understand why,” she admitted. “I asked him why and he didn’t tell me. I thought by kissing you, I’d understand better but I’m just as confused as I was before.”
“I’m confused, too,” Jet said with knotted eyebrows. He wanted the confusion to be over. He wanted her to go away and leave him to lick his wounds.
“I don’t have any feelings. That’s another thing I’ve realised.” she announced.
“Why are you crying, then?”
She hadn’t noticed the fresh tears rolling down her face until now. She was crying. He looked at her pitifully. “I don’t think you know what you’re saying,” he said softly, wiping her tears away. She pulled away from him once more.
“You mean, I don’t know my own mind?” she asked with a hint of accusation.
Jet was amazed at her new found assertiveness, “no, I just mean… you’re confused,” he shrugged. “Also, you did come in here and tell me you don’t know who you are any more so yes, forgive me for thinking you’re confused,” he waved his hands in exasperation and sat down on the bed again.
“Don’t tell me what I think, Jet. I’ve had enough of that all my life.”
She seemed small to him now. Vulnerable. He let go of his resentment and sighed. “I’m sorry. You’ve just never…” he paused for a moment, “It’s like you’re– ”
“Different?”
“Yes.” He nodded. She came to sit beside him and held his hand. It felt warm and affectionate despite her cutting remarks. “I think we’ve both been under a spell. Made to live like…”
“Like what?” she asked, noticing that his dark eyes were absorbed in her angelic face.
“I don’t know. Like prisoners, I think. I can come and go but I can’t leave this island. It’s like a prison and he has all the keys.”
“I think you’re right,” she said quietly, lowering her head.
“Look at me,” he lifted her chin gently with his hand. “You’ve broken free now. What will you do next?” he felt he had flung his soul into the air, waiting for her to catch it.
“Stop him,” she replied. “He’s going to hurt the others.”
“What others?”
“There were people stranded here. He told me he brought them here. I didn’t see how it was possible but I read his journals last night.”
Jet’s stomach sank. The journals. He had a stack of them under his bed that Derrien had tried to make him read. “Do you know where?”
“He put them in the jungle. I don’t know what happened to them.”
“You should stay here and I’ll go and see if I can find them. Do you know how many there are?”
She shook her head. “I can guess four, maybe five.”
“Where is Geraint?”
“I left him at the sand dunes. I showed him the way back to the cottage but… Oh what have I done?” She held her face in her hands and shook her head.
“It’s all right. I’ll see if I can find him.” Grabbing his jacket, he rushed to the door and opened it, turning to look at Thea one last time.
Thank you for reading Oceanus! I’ll be back next week with the latest instalment of the series.